Review # 5 Campbell's Barn 1852 S.R. 125, Amelia, OH 45102 513-797-8019

An unlikely setting brings me to the next great fish sammich adventure. Campbell's Barn is exactly what it says in the name, a barn. This barn was once a reception hall for weddings, but under new ownership it has been remodeled into a country cooking/sports bar type venue. It a local feedbag, filled with white haired seniors mostly, in search of home cooking without having to dirty all the pots and pans. I had heard by word of mouth that they had a really good walleye sammich and I was dying to find out.

Today's target: A menu item called Battered Jack's Salmon Sandwich. I am not sure where the salmon comes in because the description is clearly a breaded walleye fillet on marble rye. At $9.29, it comes with a side. By suggestion of the waitress I had the jalapeno cheddar potatoes which were really delicious. Basically Au gratin style potatoes with jalapeno slices and some crunchy bread crumbs mixed in.

Bun: Not a bun at all, but rather a thick double slice of marbled rye. It was soft and full of flavor which complemented the flavor of the walleye nicely. It was a largish slice, but in contrast to the size of the fillet, it didn't quite fit the sammich. I ended up having to cut it down to size to fit the bread in fact.

Batter: A nice combination of what appeared to be corn meal and large bread crumbs. The fillet had a wonderfully crunchy and bumpy texture.

Fry: Lightly deep fried to a light brown finish. The batter here is light in nature so you can actually see bits of the fillet through it.

Toppings: Onion, Lettuce, Tomato and a side of tartar sauce. Normally I like to add a bit of ketchup into the mix as well to get some nice acidity, but in this particular case I was not disappointed at all with just the tartar sauce and toppings.

Portion: Just have a look at the picture....this was a generous portion which completely hangs off the sides of the bread. I was full and content and though my mouth was still wanting more, my stomach was clearly searching for the exit.

Service: The wait staff was helpful and courteous, attentive and honest. I had asked the waitress if the mac and cheese was any good and she in fact replied, "Umm...no, you don't want that. If you had come earlier I would say yes, but it has been sitting for a while and I don't think you would be happy with it." That kind of honesty is smart and refreshing.

Wait: It was a weekday afternoon and there was no wait time whatsoever. I do believe we did get in at the right moment as the initially empty dining room began to fill around us as we debated our menus. In the time we were there, however, I never did see a backup of a queue waiting to be seated.

Bottom Line: In truth, I have realized how much that the standard Alaskan Cod is really the french fry of the sea. Its plentiful, cheap, filling and tastes okay and so it gets piled onto nearly every menu that offers a fish sammich in its line up. Here, while happily munching on some fresh lake walleye it was clear to me how superior in flavor these fresh lake fish are in contrast. It was the difference to me between an okay restaurant I would some day go back to eventually to one that would be sought out again for its really delicious menu offering. True, I did not taste and salmon and the name was clearly misleading, but the walleye sammich itself is up near the top in deliciously tasty fish sammiches done right in my book!

Review #4 Brennan's Fish House 102 River St. Grand River, Ohio 44045 440-354-9785

Upon a recent trip I had to Northeast Ohio, I was treated to a true local gem called Brennan's Fish House. Locally renowned, all you had to do was mention Brennan's and the locals would beam with pride and tell you in a suspiciously Canadian-esque accent, "Yeah, dat Brennan's is some good eats!" I had to know. Perched on the corner of Lake Erie, I had high hopes for fresh fish and a sammich worth remembering and boy did Brennan's not disappoint.
With a long history dating back to 1968 and a dine in area full of nautical kitsch and local pub charm, Brennan's was everything you would expect from a lake front fish house. Boasting a generous menu and even more generous prices, Brennan's truly has something on the menu for any sea loving man or woman's tastes.
While the seafood entrees could be a bit more pricey ($13-17), the sandwich menu boasted all sorts of delicious lake delicacies and ranged from about $2.75 to $8.50. The biggest dilemma is which fish to sentence to death by sandwich. Walleye, Catfish, North Atlantic Whitefish, Roughy or Perch, the choice was daunting. After an unhesitating waitress recommended the yellow perch, I was locked in. At only $7 for the whole meal...what's that....Sierra Nevada Pale Ale as well? Yes Please!

Bun: Some sort of sesame topped kaiser roll it appeared. Simple and fresh and adequate to hold its cargo of deep fried goodness.

Batter: Lightly golden and light in texture, the breading on the perch was just adequate to cover the fish, but not to take away from any of the fresh fish flavor aching to get through.

Fry: Delicately fried, golden brown and leaving the fish slightly curled on the ends.

Toppings: Basic. Just a small cup of what appeared to be homemade tartar sauce. There was also ketchup and malt vinegar at the ready on the table, but I was saving those for the fries. After one bite with only tartar sauce, I for once was completely satisfied with their less is more approach. No lettuce, no tomato, just the pure fish sammich flavors at your tastebuds.

Portion: About the size of a Big Mac, this sammich was comprised of a handful of about 5 smaller deep fried perch fillets.

Service: Courtesy and ample, but for the majority you are left alone to enjoy your meal, but can easily get the attention of a nearby waitress if need be.

Ambiance: All the expected fair and kitsch of a boat house restaurant. From inset rope laminated into the table to the nautical wheels and lights and traditional boat decor, Brennan's had a true lake pub charm full of locals and hungry out of towners alike.

Wait: Even after the initially daunting greeting of 10-15 other patrons patiently waiting in the lobby, we were seated within 5 minutes - a truly unexpected feat on a dinnertime Friday evening.

Bottom Line: Brennan's has done it by staying true to less is more, fresh is best and word of mouth is your best customer. I was completely delighted and utterly full after my meal. The shoestring fries were a bit greasy but soaked in malt vinegar and in tow of a grumbling stomach, I didn't seem to mind. The coleslaw was pleasantly creamy and not overly bitter and was at the best homemade or at least extremely fresh. Fresh caught to table dinners is what Brennan's does best and this fish sammich is now #1 in my heart and my belly.

Review # 3 Mike Linnig's 9308 Cane Run Road ▪ Louisville, KY 40258 ▪ Phone: (502) 937-9888

Courtesy of mikelinnigsrestaurant.com/

Touting "Famous Seafood Since 1925", Mike Linnig's is a family grown empire in the southwestern corner of Louisville, Kentucky. With humble beginnings, "Mike's Place", as it was originally known grew from a roadside sandwich stand into a sprawling group of buildings, outdoor picnic tables, small screened in cabanas with a table for private dining, a playground and originally a square dancing floor and baseball diamond, the latter 2 which was destroyed by fire in 1937.

Part of the draw of Linnig's is the open air feel. When we arrived, the separate parking lot was jam packed. After finding a spot, we walked up to the front facade. While you can go into the main restaurant and eat, the majority of patrons choose to sit outdoors. After grabbing a menu and standing in line, you come to a kiosk with an attendant where you place your order. From there, you find a table and then walk up to a separate building to purchase your drinks. After a wait of 30-45 minutes your name will be called over the outdoor intercom and you then walk inside the main building to the kitchen to pick up your order.

On this particular occasion, I ordered the "Fish Plate". At $12.25, your order comes with shoestring fries, cole slaw and a cup of Linnig's homemade tartar sauce. For a few moments I contemplated what seemed to be a bit steep price for a fish sandwich...I walked the children swinging, men meandering about with sweating longneck bottles of beer and took in the admittedly loud and a bit annoying constant crackle of the overhead speaker barking out order numbers, birthday wishes and calls to staff needed in the kitchen. After about 30 minutes my order was called and I went to retrieve my tray of deep fried goodness. I had substituted hush puppies for fries and was anxious to see what this meal would provide.

What I received was a gluttonously piled high tray of various deep fried glistening food stuffs. It became immediately clear that at $12.25 I had certainly got my money's worth. Not one but 2 giant fillets of fish that laid side by side would have covered the entire tray by themselves. A generous cup of homemade slaw was positioned next to that on the foam plate and in a separate paper tray, 5 racquet ball sized hush puppies! I watched others exiting the kitchen to see if I had ordered the "Super Glutton" meal to soon find that all the portioned this way. Men struggled to carry trays stacked a foot high with onion rings, fish, shrimp, crab cakes and even alligator. Clearly one of Mike's "portions" would be sufficient to feed a whole family.

Bun: So close to over the top perfection I looked around my plate for 2 foot long hoagie rolls to wield this giant beast of a sandwich only to find 2 slices of white bread. I was a little stunned, clearly angered and I had to contemplate again for a moment why anyone would serve potential greatness on a slice of failure. It would be like ordering the best hamburger ever assembled only to find it was served on a Saltine cracker. Clearly a no-no in my book, I had to press on.

Batter: Golden brown, not too greasy and the dredged bread crumb batter was clearly fresh and not cross contaminated by other deep fried food.

Fry: I have to say it was deep fried to perfection and retained a nice moisture and a evenly browned consistency. It was not curled or rolled in anyway. The only complaint I have is it was hot! That baby came straight from the fryer to the plate, which is a good thing, but I didn't want to wait any longer on top of the 30 minutes already passed to begin eating my meal.

Toppings: Pretty much just tartar sauce. I didn't ask for lettuce or tomato on the side so do not know if it is available.

Portion: A bit over the top. I cut my fillet in half to fit in on the bread and that along with 2 bull testicle sized hush puppies was about all I could finish. I ate the hush puppies for breakfast the next morning and had a half portion fish sammich for the next 3 days!

Service: Apart from the kiosk help to take your order there are no real waiters/waitresses, only those who come and clear your table for you after you are through eating. The people you come into contact with are friendly, including the drink stand workers who also accept tips for their quick service.

Ambiance: Mike's is clearly oriented to a family dining experience. The outdoor seating are well kept concrete picnic tables and the landscaping is vibrant and well maintained.

Wait: Upwards of 30-45 minutes during our Saturday evening visit, but with good company and weather the time passed rather quickly.

Bottom Line: A solid fish sammich! While the portions are a bit too large ( I would have been satisfied with a $6.50 one fillet portion), the outdoors and bustling family atmosphere makes the experience a fun package deal. It's a little like a family reunion picnic where you don't know any of the cousins or aunts and uncles.

Review # 2 Stan's Fish Sandwich Restaurant 3723 Lexington Rd, Saint Matthews, KY 40207

On a recent trip to Louisville, Kentucky I picked up the local publication called the Leo, a weekly free magazine on all things happening around Louisville. Upon flipping through the pages, a recommendation by the Leo staff caught my eye. "Voted Louisville's Best Fish Sandwich" at Stan's Fish. My next adventure was fated there on the page and with giddy anticipation and a bit of cautious curiosity I set off with more hope than a pre-election Obama grassroots rallier. With a name like Stan's Fish Sandwich restaurant how could I go wrong?

Upon my arrival, my suspicions quickly grew. Not having an ocean in Kentucky made me wonder how good this could actually be. After walking through the doorway into what I can only describe as if Long John's Silver and a homeless shelter had sex and I was now standing in the result of its offspring, I was without words. Confused and with much trepidation I got enough motivation to not turn around and walk out and instead pressed ahead and ordered the Stan's Fish Sandwich dinner. At only $6.95 served with fries and slaw I had either stumbled upon the best dive treasure or a real fish sammich nightmare. I wish the latter had not been the case.

After receiving my red lunch lady tray of food, I walked to the nondescript table with no condiments on it and sat and just stared for a moment feeling as though I had just reached the climax of a Steven King classic. In front of me was an anemic chunk of fish deep-fried to hell,  resuscitated, released back into a pond, caught again and re deep-fried for another 5 minutes for good measure. It sat contorted onto itself on top of a pair of white bread pieces. I became physically angry. Angry at the Leo, angry at Stan, angry at an establishment who would commit such an atrocity. Should I call Amnesty International or vomit from anger first?

After staring blankly for several moments I decided to eat this meal anyway. One, because I was hungry as hell and Two, because I knew it would burn this experience into the cortex of my brain so vividly that I would be able to angrily reproduce this blog as though it were happening in real time. I would tell you about the sides, but I don't remember eating those. Etched in my mind was every crusty, flavorless bite of fish. With as much displeasure as when german film director Werner Herzog ate his shoe after losing a bet, I finished my "sandwich" and left knowing that Stan and his Fish Sandwich were forever dead to me.

So to recap:

Bun: What bun? It was white bread and I am guessing not even Wonder bread. We are talking Wal-Mart on sale bread here.

Batter: Like a coroner trying to identify a burn victim...I could not make a positive ID as to the makeup of this substance.

Fry: Lower into deep fry bin, go watch an episode of Sanford and Son in the back room. Come back after it's over and remove. Voila! Anemic, overdone, crusty dog vomit.

Toppings: Where?I would love some!

Portion: Just about right because had been any bigger I still wouldn't want to finish it.

Service: It was an immediate walk up and order. Once we were seated, however, we were never checked on again for the duration of the meal.

Ambiance: Kind of like eating in an abandoned Long John Silver's.

Wait: No wait on a Saturday mid afternoon...in fact it was a near ghost town with a few diners in the main area an not one other guest in the side dining room we sat in.

Bottom Line: This experience should not be on anyone's To-Do list. Save yourself a trip and order some takeout Chinese instead. Either I was in the wrong place or the Leo should be ashamed of writing positive reviews in exchange for cash.

Review # 1 Paxton's Grill 125 West Loveland Ave. Loveland, Ohio 45140

Picture by Jacob H. courtesy of Foodspotting.com

Nestled in the heart of Loveland, Ohio sits a quaint pub with local neighborhood charm. With good beer on tap and a local pub feel, Paxton's is a real treat for some old fashioned pub eats, but we are here to talk about the fish. 
Not for the faint of heart is the Beer Battered Haddock Sandwich. As the menu states, "A real monster!", this 10 oz beer battered haddock filet is served on a hoagie bun with lettuce, tomato and a side of tartar sauce. At the time of this review this meal costs $10.95 and comes with generous side of shoestring french fries and a cup of cole slaw. It must be noted that Paxton's also has a "Fish Sandwich" on the menu at $7.50 but it is much smaller in size and in this case it's a much better choice to go with the "Big Daddy."
Let it be said that this is a big meal not to be attempted by someone who had a sizable lunch earlier that day. This sammich is so big you nearly have to half crap your pants to make room and to avoid a fish head precariously poking you in the colon for the rest of the evening.

Bun: The hoagie bun is sizable with perhaps an inch of haddock overhang from both ends.

Batter: Paxton's claims a beer batter, but it has also been dredged in bread crumbs and so avoids the smooth texture of a beer battered only fish.

Fry: The deep fry leaves a golden brown filet with a decent amount of moisture preserved within the fish itself.

Toppings: Fresh iceberg lettuce and what appears to be a hothouse tomato. The veggies are appropriately fresh and the lettuce gives a nice added crunch to the sammich.

Portion: This thing is a beast. With an adequate amount of tartar sauce and some ketchup for spite, to be able to finish the sammich alone is a feat, but to finish the slaw and fries in completion takes a mid meal prayer and a hearty beer to distract your stomach for what you are about to do to it.

Service: The wait staff is accommodating and quick. Every time I have been they have been courteous and quick about getting whatever you ask.

Ambiance: With a bustling pub feel, Paxton's brings home the neighborhood pub feel. Seating can feel a bit packed and if you choose to wait inside to be seated you can feel a bit in the way huddled by the only empty space near the front door. Luckily, there are ceiling mounted tvs and lots of pub kitch and wall hangings to distract you from the wait. If you choose to wait outside if it is chilly out a chimney packed with burning timbers can be a nice respite from the cold.

Wait: At the time of this review it was a Friday evening around 7:30pm. It appeared to be the height of rush time and wait times can vary from 10-25 minutes on average.  

Bottom Line: This is the fish sammich to beat. Paxton's manages to set the bar with a solid entry into the fish sammich fray. Nothing fancy, but good batter, good flavor and a large portion makes this meal hard to beat!

What a Fish Sammich Isn't

Before we can delve into the world of tasty fish sammiches we have to establish some rules by which I will follow when judging and reviewing all the various fish sammich offerings around town. To establish what a fish sammich is we must first look at what a fish sammich is not.

A fish sammich is NOT: An enormous yet over fried piece of fish on 2 pieces of plain white bread. I am personally offended that I should have to even say this, but due to a host of restaurants which erroneously claim a fish sammich on the menu I have to make this perfectly clear. If you have to put a fish sammich on square bread the filet should be proportionate to the size of the bread. I can't think of why you would ever have to do this, but just saying. The image below is an example of this poorly executed attempt as labeling a menu item as a fish sammich (Taken by Jason O. from Foodspotting.com) :



















I mean really? Is the best we can do? This restaurant probably also would smear some peanut and jelly into the palm of your hand and call it gourmet PB&J.

A fish sammich also is NOT: A large piece of deep fried fish on a bun, roll, baguette or proportionately sized piece of bread sans toppings or condiments. Give a sandwich the proper dignity it deserves! Try all or some of the following toppings/condiments before calling it a sammich: pickles, tomato, lettuce, cheese, onion, ketchup, tartar sauce. Anything less would be just plain wrong.

It's really not that complicated. You wouldn't eat a hamburger on a bun plain...and if you would please take a moment now to take your mouse clicky finger and point it at the big "X" in the top right of your screen to be transported to a website more suited to your intellect. So let's get out there and fill a stomach beyond its natural capacity! Let's make Jesus and baby Jesus proud tonight and eat a Fish Sammich, Son!

The Origin of the Fish Sammich

My affinity for the fish sandwich began long ago. Whether it was to satisfy a ravenous hunger at dinnertime to offset the french pressed coffee and the Mountain Dew that was my respective breakfast and lunch for that day or whether it was the default choice on a menu where nothing else seemed a viable option to me, one thing became clear to me the more I ate them. First, I found that I never tired of them. Feeling like an anorexic who was just freed from Birkenau I needed something to fill my belly. More interestingly, I found a little secret that the fish sandwich was a good barometer for judging the merit of all the other possibilities on a restaurant's menu. If the fish sandwich was bad, chances are the rest of the menu was bad. If the fish sandwich was good, chances are the rest of the menu was good. So i continued to eat my way from establishment to establishment to find the next fish sandwich that could raise the bar. I began to affectionately call my fish a fish sammich in response to the question, "What do you want to eat tonight?" Thus Fish Sammich, Son! was born.

The fish sammich is quite simply one the most wonderful, completely delicious and simple delicacies ever created. Whether deep fried, crispy, smooth beer battered or delightful crumbly breading it's clear that something magical happens when a select filet of fish gets sandwiched between hearty bread or bun and stacked with pickles, onion, tomato, cheese. It is something divine. In fact, I believe the earliest account of the fish sammich goes back to biblical times, when Jesus invented it to satisfy a crowd.

From Matthew 14, the NIV translation tells us of the account:

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand

 ¹³When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. ¹⁴When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.  ¹⁵As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food."
 ¹⁶Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."
 ¹⁷"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.
 ¹⁸"Bring them here to me," he said. ¹⁹And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. ²⁰They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. ²¹The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

What had just transpired was the divine creation of the most delicious sammich ever created. If you question whether this was indeed a fish sandwich I say to you, "Why did he have the bread then? Hmm?" Yes, it was a fish sammich and to anyone who has ever eaten a supreme fish sandwich knows -there is enough to feed a multitude or yourself the next day for lunch. Jesus knew what was up.

And so, with much divine curiosity and the ravaging desire to eat every fish sammich in sight from every eatery out there I bring to you Fish Sammich, Son! The blog. Enjoy!